My Final Wishes: Quick Planner
Twenty minutes with a pen answers the questions your family will be asked in the first two days, so nobody has to guess.
My Final Wishes: Quick Planner
Nobody sets out to leave their family guessing. It happens because the answers were never written down anywhere.
In the days right after a death, the people closest to you get asked a surprising number of questions. Burial or cremation. Was there a service you wanted. Who needs to be called. Where is the paperwork. They are asked all of it at the worst possible moment, by people who need an answer that afternoon, and most of the time they are guessing.
This planner exists so they do not have to guess. It takes about twenty minutes. It is free, it is yours to keep, and nothing here asks you to buy anything.
Before you start
Print this page and fill it in with a pen. Then put it somewhere your family can actually get to. A copy sealed in a box nobody can open is the same as no copy at all.
Three things make it work:
- Write down what you actually want, not what you think you are supposed to want.
- Tell at least one person that it exists and where it is kept.
- Read it again when something big changes: a marriage, a divorce, a death, a move, a new grandchild.
One rule for the whole page. Write down where things are kept. Never write down the secret itself. No passwords, no PINs, no account numbers, no Social Security numbers. This page is meant to be found, and anything you would not want a stranger reading does not belong on it.
Part 1: Who gets called first
The first hours are phone calls. List the people your family should reach and the order you would want them reached in. Include anyone who would be hurt to hear it secondhand.
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Name: ________________________ How they know me: ________________ Phone: ______________
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Name: ________________________ How they know me: ________________ Phone: ______________
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Name: ________________________ How they know me: ________________ Phone: ______________
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Name: ________________________ How they know me: ________________ Phone: ______________
Anyone who should be told privately, not on a group call or online:
Part 2: Burial or cremation
This is the first decision your family will be asked to make, often within a day, and it is the one people most often have no idea how to answer.
- Burial
- Cremation
- Donation to a medical or research program
- I would rather my family decide
If you have already made arrangements somewhere, write down where. Prepaid or preplanned arrangements are easy to lose track of.
Funeral home or cemetery, if arrangements already exist: ______________________________
Plot, niche, or property already owned: __________________________________________
If cremation, what you would want done with the ashes:
Part 3: The service
There is no wrong answer here, including no service at all.
- A full service
- A graveside service only
- A memorial or celebration of life, later, when people can travel
- Something small, family only
- Nothing formal
Religious or faith tradition to follow, if any: ______________________________________
Place of worship, clergy, or celebrant to contact: ___________________________________
People I would want to speak: _______________________________________________________
Music, readings, or anything specific I would want included:
Anything I would specifically not want:
Part 4: What I would want said
Most families are handed a blank page and asked to write an obituary in an afternoon. A few lines from you saves them hours and gets it right.
The things I would want mentioned (work, service, faith, hobbies, the people I was proudest of):
If people want to do something, I would rather they:
- Send flowers
- Give to a specific charity: ______________________________________
- Do something else: ______________________________________________
Part 5: Where things are kept
Locations only. Not the contents, and not any number that would let someone get in.
| What | Where it is kept |
|---|---|
| Will, trust, or estate documents | |
| Life insurance policy documents | |
| Deed, title, or lease | |
| Vehicle titles | |
| Military discharge papers (DD-214) | |
| Birth certificate, marriage certificate | |
| Safe deposit box, and who is on it | |
| Home safe, and who knows how to open it | |
| Tax returns |
Attorney, accountant, or financial professional to contact:
Name: ______________________________ Phone: ______________________________
Insurance agent or agency to contact:
Name: ______________________________ Phone: ______________________________
If you own life insurance, the single most useful thing you can do is make sure the person you named knows it exists. That is a short exercise on its own, and it is the one families most often miss. For guidance on how to track down a policy, see How to Find a Lost Life Insurance Policy.
Part 6: The practical things people forget
These are small, and they are what actually falls apart in the first week.
- Pets. Who takes them, and what they need: ______________________________
- Plants, livestock, or anything else that needs feeding
- Employer or former employer to notify: ______________________________
- Automatic payments coming out of my accounts
- Subscriptions and memberships that will keep billing
- Phone, email, and social media accounts, and whether I want them closed or left up
- Anyone I owe money to, or who owes me
- A key, a spare key, or an alarm code someone will need (tell a person, do not write it here)
Part 7: Who has a copy
A planner nobody can find is not a plan.
- I have told at least one person this page exists
- They know where it is kept
- A second person also knows: ______________________________________
- The person named in my will or trust has been told
- I have written today's date on it: ______________
What this is and what it is not
This is a planning worksheet. It is not a will, not a trust, and not a legally binding funeral directive. It does not name an executor, it does not transfer anything to anyone, and it does not override a legal document that says something different.
Wills, trusts, and funeral directives are legal documents, and the rules for them vary by state. If you want your wishes to be legally binding, talk to an attorney licensed where you live. Nothing here is legal, tax, or financial advice, and nothing here is an offer of insurance.
What this page does is answer the questions your family will actually be asked, in your own words, at a moment when they will be very glad to have them.
Frequently asked
- Is this a will?
- No. This is a planning worksheet, not a will, a trust, or a legally binding funeral directive. It does not name an executor and it does not transfer anything to anyone. If you want your wishes to be legally binding, talk to an attorney licensed in your state.
- Does it need to be witnessed or notarized?
- Not for this to be useful. It has no legal effect either way. What gives it its value is that your family can find it and read it, which is why telling somebody where it is kept matters more than how it is signed.
- Where should I keep it?
- Somewhere your family can actually get to without a key, a code, or a court order. A copy sealed in a safe deposit box that nobody else is named on is the same as no copy at all. Tell at least two people it exists.
- Should I write down my passwords and account numbers?
- No. Write down where things are kept, never the secret itself. No passwords, PINs, account numbers, or Social Security numbers. A page like this is meant to be found, and anything you would not want a stranger reading does not belong on it.
This content is for general educational purposes and is not individualized insurance, tax, legal, or investment advice. Rules for wills, beneficiary designations, policy replacement, and the tax treatment of a surrender vary by state, by carrier, and by contract. Trusted Agent does not sell, quote, price, issue, service, or pay claims on any policy, and cannot tell you whether a claim will be approved. A licensed insurance professional, a tax professional, or an attorney in your state can advise on your own situation.
